Monday, 6 December 2010

Lack Of Effort Or Giving Up?

First of all - thanks to those people still interested in my progress, or lack of it.

I haven't posted for a week or so, for two reasons. I've been busy one way and another, and I haven't had much to report. Amazingly, I stood on the scale this morning after my shower and couldn't believe that I hadn't piled on all the weight I had lost. Today I weigh 203lbs. I have gained six pounds since my last weigh-in. Not too bad.

My trouble is I am just too....'lack-a-daisical' as my old Mum used to say. I am too laid back, too easy-going, too contented. I just don't want this enough. I don't seem able to make the sacrifices I have to in order to lose weight. It's not just about sacrifices though. It's about effort, and I'll hold my hands up. I haven't been making any!

What to do? Make an effort with Christmas approaching? (I can hear you scream "YES!")

I am partly kicking myself, because when I read about some of the struggles with food other bloggers have, I know I have it fairly easy. I tend not to binge eat. My sweet tooth tends to be for cakes...but not all cakes. I hate cakes with icing (frosting?) or fudge. Far too sweet. A bit of jam in a soft doughnut? Lovely. Fresh cream in an eclair? Mmmm. A flaky pastry apple turnover filled with whipped cream? Yes please. However, the craving I had for cakes has subsided. It's been sated. I walked to get the cakes, and I walked back home again, so I worked off a few of their calories! (I am laughing here at my trying to justify my cake-buying spree.) Cakes aren't tempting me any longer. Wine and savoury nibbles at night whilst watching TV has been my latest downfall...but one glass of wine and one small packet of something savoury isn't a major over-indulgence. I am doing silly things like having tortillas and sour cream with chilli con carne - as well as the rice. I am not pigging out. I am just not being careful, not cutting back, when I could. Nor am I exercising enough.

I cannot remember the last time I had a take-away from a fast food place. I really have forgotten when that was. They don't tempt me. Last night I nipped over to my daughter's house to drop off a birthday present for my neice who is living there temporarily. It was late when I left after a cuppa (with no biscuits or cake!) and a McDonalds with a drive-through had to be passed on the drive home. I momentarily thought "Oh a burger and fries...that would save me cooking." Did I stop? No.

Earlier in the day I was out shopping and again, felt peckish as I hadn't eaten for a while. As I walked back to my car with the shopping I could smell in the air the tempting aroma of fried chicken. A KFC was about 200 yards away. I got into the car and decided I'd call in and get chicken and fries. Now, I do love KFC...but again, I cannot remember when I last had it. However, once buckled up, I told myself "Hang on. You are broke. You cannot afford fast food. Go home and cook something. How stupid! You do not want to be paying out money for something greasy and not good for you!" And with that, I drove home. No pangs, no regrets.

OK, so when I got home I heated up a creamy chicken curry and had two chappatis with it. I also had one glass of wine later, and a small, individual packet of potato rings...

So - not good choices really. I am not eating much in the way of fruit and veg, and I am not being very good about cooking healthy meals either, as the boys tend not to be around at dinner time. (The girls in their lives hold more appeal than home-cooked food! Bad really, because I don't want them to go down the "I'm hungry - I'll grab a burger, kebab, fried chicken" route.)

Anyway. If I get my act together and try a bit harder, I could do this.

I guess that is true for a lot of us?
I just have to want it enough, and I don't seem to be able to work up a sense of urgency or need in myself. I don't like what I see in the mirror (from the shoulders down!).

Perhaps I need to invest in more full length mirrors?

How do you keep going? How do remain fired up to do this?

6 comments:

  1. Grump,

    I'm in a funk right now, so I'm afraid I don't have many words of wisdom. The full length mirror is a cruel way to go, but I use one regularly. For me, I'd say the first step on this journey is caring about it. I have hit a plateau...well, actually, I WAS at a plateau and since I wasn't moving along anywhere, I simply decided that putting some weight back on was the answer.

    I hope to be out of my funk soon, and I hope you are able to find your motivation as well. I desperately want the end result, but the in between is horrible.

    Good Luck!

    Ms. M.

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  2. Grump, Sounds like you've picked up some "good" habits along the way...such as thinking before you go to the drive through...That one's an easy one for me too because I don't have the money and I really don't like fast foods...now if only "we" could make that next step to making "smart" choices at home.
    I guess it's the season for "funk"..I sit down at my blog and can't think of a thing I want to share (without sounding like I'm complaining)..Hopefully this too will pass.
    Don't give up..just take one day at a time and come here when you need it.

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  3. Ms M and Lady Sue...thank you. I am sorry that you both know what I am experiencing. I suspect there are many of us out there who just don't seem able to move on. I am eating what I like, without thinking about it, and I just cannot find the will to care that much. Like you say Ms M - we want the end result.

    You are right Lady Sue. I think I may have trained myself to be reasonably sensible. Some foods just don't have the pull they used to, but I feel I want to graze all day long.

    The way I feel now, if I did reach the 'end' and hit my goal weight, I'd (stupidly) see that as a reason to go easy on myself an destroy all my hard work.

    Ladies, I think this may be a time for us to think about damage limitation? To eat as we feel we need to, but with 'some' restraint? It's SO easy to put weight back on!

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  4. Yes, you can do this. We are here to remind you of that. You can do it.

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  5. I don't know what wisdom I can offer, except to say that success breeds success. You lose a few pounds, you feel good about it, so you just keep plugging away, day after day. Because what's the alternative - regaining weight and having to buy new clothes? No way!

    The way I feel now, if I did reach the 'end' and hit my goal weight, I'd (stupidly) see that as a reason to go easy on myself an destroy all my hard work.

    But you don't want to do that, do you? By the time you get to your goal weight, you'll feel so much better physically, and be so much more confident about your appearance, you won't want to go back.

    One day at a time.

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  6. Aww Grump..."The way I feel now, if I did reach the 'end' and hit my goal weight, I'd (stupidly) see that as a reason to go easy on myself an destroy all my hard work."

    Been there, done that and believe it's no fun.

    That's why "WE" have to find what it is in ourselves that will ACCEPT less than we deserve and defeat it...YOU & I both deserve to be Fit and Healthy. I know that I will never be "skinny" but I also know that inside this "fat woman" there is a "fit woman" who deserves to be happy with herself. It just takes work. Nothing has ever been easy in my life so I don't know why I should expect it to be now.
    Keep your chin (or in my case CHINS) up and just keep trying until you find your way!
    I won't give up IF you don't..(how's that for pressure...lol)
    Thanks for your support on my blog..it really does help!

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