Saturday, 27 March 2010

The lost Saturday.

Evening all...anyone out there?

It's late. Anyone ever see that oldie, with Ray Milland, called The Lost Weekend? It's about an alcoholic who hides bottles all around the house and drinks to oblivion. I am reminded of him today because I just haven't seen much of it! I get up at 6.45am every week day morning, because I have to drive my oldest son to work. (He works in the middle of the country side, doesn't drive and there is a very infrequent bus service.) Given I am a bit of a night owl I survive on about five-six hours sleep per night.

Anyway, unlike Ray Milland, I don't hit the bottle...but today vanished. I slept in late, until 11.30am, which is VERY late for me..but I was fast asleep...and only noise from my boys woke me. I was surprised when I looked at the clock. My body clock usually kicks in and I rise fairly early. It didn't happen today. I felt very groggy when I got up...I made a big mug of tea (I just ADORE tea, it's my favourite beverage) and a bowl of oat clusters with almonds one. No sugar, semi-skimmed milk. Then I had another mug of tea...I put some washing in the machine, showered, dressed, tidied up the kitchen and sat down. I yawned..and fell asleep on the sofa. This was at about 2pm. I woke at 8pm! I lost a Saturday!

I don't see my beloved on Saturdays very often as he is away following his football team. Good job he wasn't around today...I was a bit zombie-like for some strange reason. I told my sister about it (during the short time I was awake this afternoon!) and she said sometimes your body just has to catch up. The rest was probably long over-due.

The good news is, because I slept, I haven't eaten much at all today! Yay! This is the way to slim! Seriously..I got on the exercise bike and did a whole ten minutes...(I try to do lots of short sessions during the course of a day.) Well, that's the plan, and some days I am unable to stick to it, or just don't stick to it. I put the bike into 'calories burned' mode, and aim to burn 30. The resistance level is four and my heart is beating quite fast when I have finished. I also tell myself if I can burn 30 calories, I have to burn five more...I am hoping to work my way up to burning off an apple! And yes, if any seriously fit types or those into 'proper' exercise are reading this, I can see you sighing and giving up on me. As with the eating plan...I have to work myself into it. I think my miserable efforts are better than none at all.

I made myself a sandwich for a late lunch...a ham and Dijon mustard one, on a sunflower and pumkin seed wholemeal bread. I followed that with some caramel Snack a Jacks..(rice cakes with a sweet glaze ) and ate them sort of unconsciously. I was watching TV at the time and consumed half a packet before I realised! OK so they are low fat, but still, that was uncontrolled eating really. I need someone to lock all food stuffs away, and dish me out small portions at meals times.

When I win the Lottery I shall take myself off to a health farm for a few years;-) I like the idea of a chef preparing light, healthy meals and being served them. No preparation, no washing up. I could, I mean or swim/cycle/walk to my heart's content. Notice I didn't mention gyms. Exercise machines leave me cold. I have been a gym member twice and I found the whole 'going to the gym' business a complete chore. So boring.

It's Saturday, and I haven't had a glass of wine. We Brits are following our continental cousins and taking to wine drinking with meals. I enjoy a glass of dry white wine, although I know red is supposed to have more health benefits. However, I am trying to see alcohol as 'empty calories' and just don't buy myself wine any more. I was forming a habit of opening a bottle during the week and having a glass of wine with my evening meal. It's such a civilised practice....and an enjoyable one too. I can live without it though.

It's late, but I am not sleepy. Surprise surprise! Tomorrow I shall take to the scales. Sadly, I feel like a condemned woman, one due to be executed at dawn. This has me thinking. Don't condemned prisoners get one last blow-out meal?

See, with this thinking I don't see 'diets' as being successful. I wish I was fired up but I'm not, and I have no idea why, given my fatness is a health issue now.

Oh well, I shall go and read...probably until the early hours. I could probably consume at least 1000+ calories before morning, but I shan't. I shall stick to tea...and perhaps a low-cal ready meal. I am owed a few calories today.

Grrrr. I hate thinking about food like this..having to be conscious of what I put in my mouth. Eating should be a natural process, with no guilt attached. Grrr, grrr and thrice grrr!

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