Another week, determination renewed.

Yesterday's anxieties are behind me - until next Saturday night and the worries the boys' weekend revelries bring. Who'd have kids eh? I love them with all my heart but they do cause me so many sleepless nights - literally. Ah well. "It just wouldn't be a picnic without the ants." ~ as someone once said.

I start this week with a new determination. I've been dragging my feet, allowing life to get me down more than it should. I have to rise above problems, and I can.

I really hope I don't flag and give up on myself.

I tend not to binge eat, or become an all-out glutton, but I eat odds and ends when I feel out of sorts and can't be bothered to care for myself properly. I pick at foods..bits and pieces...and don't cook nutritious meals. Fortunately my 'picking' is just that - a slice of cold meat here, a glass of milk there, one biscuit, an orange, a yogurt, a piece of Edam cheese, a bowl of cereal, a handful of almonds....anything I can get my hands on really, which doesn't require cooking. (It's a good job I rid my cupboards of junk and convenience foods.) All these nibbles aren't too calorific fortunately, as meal substitutes. I think I have kept my intake below 1500 calories on both days this weekend.

I have lost one pound. That's heartening actually, because although I gained weight two weeks ago, I have taken all but one pound of it off again. I seem to be the world's best 'maintainer'! Now, if I can MAKE myself walk more and get on the bike more often I hope I'll see a steady weight loss. I have to dredge up every ounce of determination I have. Life is often in turmoil here for one reason or the other, but that's life. I can't hope for it to run smoothly given our circumstances. There are going to be anxieties, there have been for the last 23 years or more, but should I shelve my wanting a smaller, healthier body because life doesn't always run smoothly? Life doesn't run smoothly for anyone, but it's so easy to allow down times to put a spoke in the wheel of determination and see us grind to a halt. Like I said yesterday...who REALLY cares if I am fat or thin? I have to remind myself that it does matter. I am not getting any younger and the body does break down slowly as we age. We don't function as well if we are not fit, if we are not eating properly and if we are morbidly obese. If I don't determine to lose weight now, when will I lose weight?

Eating sensibly (all things in moderation and no more than 1500 calories a day) and consciously making myself move more cannot be that hard. I CAN do this. What's more, I WANT to do this.

This week I aim to do my very best, one day at a time.

"Don't be discouraged. It's often the last key in the bunch that opens the lock."