Back In The Groove, And Being True To Myself.

Groovy. What on earth does 'Back in the groove' mean anyway??? Hmmm :) Anyway, just to let you know, in my best Austin Powers way, that all is groovy-ish here.

I made a comment after my last post that I tend to beat myself up unnecessarily because my weight-loss progress is SO slow...and often stalls. I do tend to think "Why am I bothering?" and I also feel that if I really were bothering properly I'd have a super-dooper plan of exercise and eating which would see me shed pounds regularly week after week. Instead of being rather spongy and blobby I'd be toning up and all my clothes would be too loose now. I am a slacker - maybe?

All I can say is, my clothes ARE slightly looser and every day I am conscious that I have a 'plan' - the plan being that I remain aware of what I am eating and try to move more in 'some' capacity every day. Eeeek. When I read that back it sounds like a cop-out...like a very vague attempt at weight-loss. I could do more. I know I could. I could burn more calories, eat even less, plan meals precisely, and move much more in a way which targets the blobbiest parts of my body. Basically - I could be more focused and more energetic.

Could you?

It's a bit of a dilemma, isn't it? Well it is for rather laid-back types like me who tend to dislike the way in which I feel we are subtly manipulated into feeling that as overweight people we are lacking, not like-able, rather ugly and the latest scourge of society. Fat people are not allowed to feel comfortable as fat people.

OK, having said that, I think we are all aware that being overweight isn't particularly good for our bodies. We ought to know that and we ought to bring our kids up so that they don't pile on the pounds and become couch potatoes. That is a good wake-up call that recent and global 'fat-awareness' has brought with it. We can stop the descent into morbid obesity becoming the norm. We can think about what we are doing to our bodies. Many of us need to.

We can bring our blood pressure down by shedding pounds. We can move more and engage more when we are lighter, we become more flexible, we have fewer embarrassing trials - ones that don't happen to people who aren't fat, and our bodies function better if we put good stuff into them. Our self-esteem improves when we know that we are tackling a problem rather than allowing it to escalate. It's for THOSE reasons, and the last one in particular that I keep going.

I'd also say that I can't pretend that I ignore the awful realisation that I don't look good when I look at myself in a mirror or in photos. That's the reality. I don't want to look skeletal like Mrs Beckham...I don't want to emulate trendy size zero models. I just want to get rid of the rolls of fat. I DO want to look and feel better. Vanity DOES come into the equation, but more than that, making an effort and looking after myself IS important. We can easily lose sight of that.

I can slob out, rage against the whole 'diet industry' and defiantly sink a Big Mac and fries every day, or I can just get on with being true to myself. In being true to myself I drink more water. It's good to flush the system out. I don't buy foodstuffs which I know will tempt me beyond endurance. If I keep them out of the house I have to snack on the oatcakes, cottage cheese, dried fruits which I keep in the cupboards. I'll enjoy all the foods I love in moderation and I won't beat myself up if I occasionally indulge in foods which would NEVER make it into boot-camp kitchens. I am no saint, nor should I try to be. I'll move more because it actually lifts me to do so. Movement releases those feel-good endorphins. I need that..otherwise I could spend my days slobbing out, and a day in which I have achieved little or made no real effort leaves me feeling low and rather useless. I should be able to motivate myself, and I have found that if I think too much about it, rather than just getting on with it, I can become defeatist.

There. That's MY groove. It's a shallow groove. I am not busting a gut here...but I am aware and conscious that I can make small changes, daily, that are helpful.

That's about as deep as it gets folks..but if you too are stalling or finding the going is getting tough..if you feel defeated some days, please come and share my shallow groove. I won't have media moguls breaking down my door to sign me up for a book deal or to make  the "Grumpy Woman Trudges On" work-out DVD. Those lovely people who have posted and told me I am doing OK when I feel I am not, have helped me beyond belief. I have become conscious of my progress. It's not wonderful progress, but me and fellow trudgers ARE pointed in the right direction. I think we are enjoying the scenery as we go :)

Thanks for your faith in me. You really ARE groovy, babies.