Tuesday, 10 August 2010

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO !!!! Stupid Woman!

OK, so I am not really berating myself THAT much :)

I'll explain the reasons for my agitation/self-flagellation in a minute...(Oh, and sisters...fear not. I am NOT a stupid woman, my inner feminist is alive and kicking, but I am allowed to call myself that just for now. I have a stupid head and a sensible one. They are interchangeable it seems.)

I've had a nice day. It's been good - up until 30 minutes ago.

I'd made arrangements to see a teacher friend of mine in Leamington Spa..a short bus ride or drive away, a lovely Georgian town with fabulous regency and early Victorian architecture, lovely formal gardens and lots of decent shops - many of them small, independent retailers - such a pleasant change from all the chain stores in shopping centres up and down the land. (Most malls in big towns and cities - and even small towns, are identical in terms of the shops available...)

So today, my exercise was going to be lots of walking. My lovely man allowed me to take his car, so it saved me the hassle of waiting for infrequent buses. I was rather worried about using it - it's a Jag - a present to himself after an investment policy matured last year. He's always wanted one, has worked very hard all his life, so he treated himself. We are a long time dead, as they say. My insurance covered me, but I was a little nervous about taking it out and driving it. I've been the passenger so far. I had a practice drive last night and got used to it - and it was LOVELY to drive, very easy to handle and very responsive.

So, this morning I drove off to meet a friend up from London, visiting relatives in my neck of the woods. We planned to have a natter and a coffee in the Pump Rooms cafe. I parked the car (carefully and cautiously!) a long way away from our meeting place, so I had a decent walk getting there. It was nice to see her and we could have spent the day together, but we both had plans for the afternoon. I was quite hungry, but avoided the cakes and the lunchtime meals being served, which looked very nice. (Gotta watch the pennies anyway...so coffee sufficed and we were too busy chatting and catching up to eat really.) We hugged, parted and went our separate ways. I had a nice long (fast) walk back to the car-park in the sunshine, stopping now and then to window-shop or browse without spending money. I enjoyed myself. I had to go to the bank in a neighbouring town, so I drove there, putting my foot down on the by-passes. (I think I'd quite like a fast car, even though speed limits here are 70mph on motorways.Driving was a real pleasure.) My old car is lovely - I am very fond of 'her' but she's over ten yrs old now and likes to take it easy. I'll be glad when she's mended, but in a way, having no car is a bit of an adventure, involving walking and checking out bus routes to get to places.

So, I drove to a smaller town, parked again and went to the bank. In the one long high-street there are charity shops galore, selling second hand goods to raise funds for good causes. I had a good old browse in almost every one. It was fun. I picked up some books for next to nothing, and for my man I found a couple of virtually new CDs to leave in his car as a thank-you gift. I was hungry but decided to drive home and make myself lunch there. I was slightly relieved in a way to park my man's car on the drive. Phew! I could relax - no damage :)

I made myself a sandwich of turkey and ham, filled with salad (Lots of red onions, green peppers, tomatoes, lettuce and light mayo.) I washed it down with a mug of tea...then had a low fat raspberry yogurt.

I'd been active and I'd eaten well. I'd met a friend, 'shopped', driven a fast car confidently...and it had been an enjoyable day. UNTIL....

Son number two arrived home from work...and just as he did, the ice cream van pulled up outside. I am sure that van driver times his arrival with my son getting in. Son opened the porch door as the van's tinkling chimes sounded..Then he vanished, only to return with a double cone for himself, and one for me! Bless him. He was being 'kind' but feeders aren't kind! Aaaargh! He hadn't remembered I was trying to eat healthily. He'd done the same thing a couple of weeks ago! Damn that ice cream van! There is no ice cream in the freezer, but when one is presented with a double cone of swirly, soft ice cream - with chocolate flakes in each cone, what does one do???? I mean....do you let it melt or do you lick it? I don't need this sort of dilemma!

So...it's been a good day apart from my ice cream indulgence. I am kicking myself that I didn't anticipate what son would do...and kicking myself that I ate it...and enjoyed it. Not because I think such treats are 'wrong'..(they're not if they're planned and accounted for) but because today I wanted to test myself a bit...wanted to check out my resolve to do this..properly....and ice cream didn't figure in the plan. Ah well. It's no good beating myself up. The 'damage' is done...and yes...I DID enjoy that double cone! (Mixed emotions now...so hard to convey. I am mentally bashing myself up...but gently.) I am going over to man's place tonight, to return his car and have dinner with him. He's doing a low-fat spag bol. I'll have mine without cheese, without garlic bread (sigh) and without much spaghetti! Bugger! :)

In future I shall be hyper-aware of those ice-cream van chimes...I feel quite tired from lots of walking, (about five miles I estimate) but it's a 'good' tired. I am already thinking about meals for tomorrow and the route I'll take on my walk.

Lesson learnt today? Things don't always go 100% to plan...accept the glitches, work with them, but adapt so that at the end of the day, you're still on course. That's what I am doing! :)

Pythagoras said ~ "Choose always the way that seems the best, however rough it may be. Custom will soon render it easy and agreeable."  I only hope he is right.


  1. You know, just because someone gives you something to eat it doesn't mean you have to eat it. Nothing wrong with a treat, but it should be on your own terms not just because someone gave it to you. And now you've beaten yourself up over it (based on the title of your post). It's just not worth it.

    Next time, just throw that in the garbage, or make your son eat it. I was thinking about this the other night. How people say they hate to waste good food, so they eat it instead. This is just crazy. If you were to consider the cost in time and $$ you will have to spend to loose that ice cream off your butt, you're better off throwing it out. Not to mention, saving yourself the mental bashing.

    I'm glad you enjoyed it at least :o) Have a great day!

  2. Phew! I was worried the story was turning in the direction of you smashing up the Jag. If my ship ever comes in, I want a small, convertible Jag (do they make them?)

    You can forgive yourself this one incident/ice cream cone, but I'd like to see your plan B for when it happens again. Go run a hot bath, head out for a walk, anything to change direction and avoid the poison.


  3. I am so glad you ate ice cream instead of crashing the car. You had me on pins and needles there for a while.

    I am finding it's OK to have small treats. Enjoy them...just don't do it every day!!


  4. I agree that you should eat it on your terms. You might want to view this as a learning opportunity. Think about how you could have set aside that ice cream and enjoyed it at a time of your choosing.

    In your shoes, I would have thanked the son, but said I wasn't hungry right now. I would have taken the cone, divided it into portions (even if it was soft ice cream and made a mess) and froze it in different containers and tossed the cone (which wouldn't survive any preservation well). Then, I would have eaten it small bits at a time when I could fit it into my plan.

    I don't thinking throwing stuff away immediately is always the best answer because it says, "I can't have this in my life," which sets off a whole bunch of other issues. You can have it, just not anytime or in big quantities.

    At any rate, my point is to use this as an experience which allows you to plan how to deal with similar situations in the future.

  5. Love these words of wisdom:

    Things don't always go 100% to plan...accept the glitches, work with them, but adapt so that at the end of the day, you're still on course.

    We could all live by those words. Michele

  6. Nice quote - reminds me of the book "the path of least resistance".

    I think you did quite well overall for a day - wanting to 'test yourself' and prove something to yourself is probably more academic than the real life of sharing a moment of ice cream indulgence with your son during a really good on-plan day!