I don't like gyms. End of. I also don't like the prices they charge, but that's another story. Like I said a few posts back, I am shunning the whole Lycra gym clothes thing. Nasty. Shudder.
I know that I have to move my body more. I also know that unless I do exercises to tone up I'll be left a flabby, loose-skinned woman when I eventually lose weight. I am cutting back on lots of foods, I am trying to eat healthily as often as I can, and I am not beating myself up about lapses and the odd food treat. It's the only way forward for me. However, I have become used to sitting around - not because I am so fat that I get breathless, but because now that I don't work I have time to SIT and read, write, paint occasionally and catch up with programmes on TV that I want to watch. I am not glued to the TV..I watch very little (if any) of the trashy stuff that's on day time TV. However, my life has become so much more simple of late and I love it. I love having no daily pressures. It's wonderful.
The lack of pressure and the lack of rushing around has been partly to blame for my weight gain this decade. That, and being in and out of hospital for ops since 2005. Some of my resting has been necessary so that I recovered properly. I am also taking a concoction of prescription drugs now, some for auto-immune illnesses, some for other things...and many of them have side effects, one of many of them being 'weight-gain'. Sigh.
All of a sudden - bang! - I became 'a woman who wasn't well" and oh boy - was that frightening! I don't make a good patient. I like being able to live my life, and I positively HATE relying on other people, or depending on them to help me. Bad, I know, but that's the way I am after years of HAVING to do things alone and face one crisis after the other on my own. I developed a strength - a sort of lack of vulnerability (which I thought disguised my REAL vulnerability) a hard outer coating, to protect me from life's slings and arrows of misfortune. It served me well...but I added pounds and then stones to my already well-padded frame. I wasn't obese, I was active and needed to lose some weight, but I wasn't obese, and then years later, after a very sedentary period in my life, I WAS obese, and then, because I am only just 5' 5" I became morbidly obese and had a very unhealthy BMI. This all crept up on me and whilst I ignored mirrors and felt unwell it didn't seem to matter much. It sort of came with the "You're not well. Take these drugs and get used to being less active" territory.
I have a tractor tyre of fat around my waist..that's where my fat collects. I am the archetypal apple shape, just as my Mum was. Dumpy is my figure shape. I am a beach-ball on legs.
So I need to exercise now to shift that blubber. The fat has collected on my bum too, and on my upper arms...but it's most evident on that stomach of mine which sticks out and makes me look eight months pregnant. Actually, you know those Space-Hoppers..those bouncy rubber balls which kids sit on so they can bounce along? I have one of those fitted to my front. It's soft and squishy but very dense. In fact, I have a good layer of fat all over..even my wrists and ankles became fatter..and I gained a small extra chin and chubbier cheeks. My eyes receded into their sockets..or rather the fat face took over. Any fat people reading are I hope nodding along. Yep. That's how we become.
I like being active. In fact, one of my fears is that I'll become immobile as I get older. That's a scary thought. That's why, before it's too late, I must shrink this body of mine..and make it as healthy as it can possibly be. However, I don't want to 'feel the burn'. I don't want to go to classes or feel that I HAVE to sign up at the gym. For now, I'll do what I can at home, but I am aware that I have to say to myself "Come on woman. Get up. Time to move. Get on that bike. Go for a walk." I wonder how long I'll sort of resent having to do that? I wish that was automatic now, but it isn't. I wish I gleefully looked forward to doing exercises. I have to make a conscious effort to move - even to do household tasks, because when you are at home all day and don't work, the mañana philosophy takes over. There is always tomorrow...and it's been like that with my weight-loss campaign too. If mess up today I'll get back on track tomorrow. There is no sense of urgency, and perhaps I need to create one, but how? Being fat does make me sluggish.
Anyway, for now, I have a great play-list on Media Player. (I know, in the age or the ipod and ipad I am a dinosaur) I defy anyone to play Christina Aguilera's 'Candyman' and sit still. Music is a great motivator. I have to turn off the internet but play my music. A wiggle here and a pelvic thrusting movement there (eat yer heart out Beyonce) has to be good for the old bod. I can slap my behind provocatively to 'Put a Ring On It', trust me.
So, for now, there's a bit of biking, a bit of lifting baked bean tins, a bit of dancing to music, a bit of working (and laughing) on my portable rowing machine and my twisting plate and a bit of gardening. Housework comes low down the list (what mad women choose house cleaning as an activity of choice?) I do it out of necessity, not love. I do however like to tend to my garden...so I'll sign off and get active...somehow. First, Ricky Martin wants me to join him for a rendition of "She Bangs.." and then Shakira tells me "My Hips Don't Lie". Hmmm. My hips certainly don't lie. They tell the world I am a fat woman, but I'll work on it. Time for some jiggling about to music. It won't be a pretty sight but it's fun, enjoyable and bound to burn some calories. I'll have to draw the curtains first. What would the neighbours think if they could see me? :)
Have a good day all....make sure you move!