Going Over To The Dark Side.

Hmmm. I am extra grouchy this afternoon. Does everyone get tired of trying do you think? I know lots of people keep going on their weight-loss quest, that's for sure. But do they still get down days when they wonder if all the effort is worthwhile? Am I just a moody cow who wants things to be easy? Today I have been picking - everything I have eaten has been OK - there is nothing in the house which could cause me to go off plan unless I decided to eat a whole loaf of bread and I certainly haven't had huge portions of anything.

Meals...or foods I have reached for when feeling I need to eat.

Breakfast: One small pro-biotic yoghurty drink thingy..raspberry flavour. One small banana. One digestive biscuit. Just couldn't be bothered do the bowl, cereal, milk thing. Two mugs of tea, each with a splash of semi-skimmed milk.

Snack 1. A clementine. Large glass of water.

Snack 2. Two oatcakes with low fat cream cheese, spread thinly. Another mug of tea.

Lunch:  A piece of cold cooked lamb's liver with a little congealed onion gravy coating it, left over from last night. (Slurp. Just call me Mrs H Lecter. No fava beans and  I went without the 'nice Chianti.') This was straight from the fridge, finger food, no plate. God, that sounds disgusting! It was tasty though. Waste not, want not. A couple of cherry tomatoes.

More water. A muesli bar..a nutty one with hazelnuts and almonds. (95 cals)

That's it so far. Now, should I be eating fresh air wrapped in lettuce leaves? Tonight we are having chicken breasts with vegetables, a tomato, pepper and onion sauce and brown rice. That's pretty balanced, isn't it? I could add more salad leaves and fruit, but I don't think I am over-doing it food wise. Admittedly, I haven't done much today in terms of movement - washing and cleaning up the kitchen..washed the floor...so bending and stretching and danced for about ten minutes to some jiggy stuff on my PC. I intend to do half an hour on the bike later but don't think I'll be walking today. I have a pile of ironing to do when I finish this. I was out yesterday with daughter and we did a fair bit of brisk walking over two hours. I walked ten miles on Monday! OK, so I could do more cardio...but I am the woman who hates gyms and formal exercise, remember? I know I have to work up a sweat. I am eating less and exercising/moving a LOT more than I used to, but it's obviously not working particularly well. I want to see results.

Is my metabolism shot to pieces or am I making excuses? I do have the odd indulgence but I plan for it. (That's my 'You will stick to a healthy eating regime' idea. No binges.) The last indulgence I allowed myself was.....ummmm...thinking....more snacky food on Sunday (watching the football match ) than I intended to have but the snacks were vegetable couscous and hummus..and bread sticks. We had a salad for dinner that evening.

Thing is, my plan is flexible. That's the way I like it and that's the way I think I might succeed. However, weight loss has been SO slow. I know it took me a while to embrace the notion that I COULD do this, and I still believe I can but I am wondering if I'll run out of steam. I mean, I might reach my target in thirty or so years. Who wants to be the slimmest, trimmest 80 year old at the pensioners' tea dance?

So, I either eat a lot less and exercise a LOT more (see me pull a face) or perhaps take myself off to the Weight Watcher's group which is held early on Thursday mornings in the church hall only a ten minute walk from my house. I found two "No registration fee and one free meeting" vouchers this morning, so I am seriously contemplating it, although I hate 'organised' anything where you have to show up at a certain place at a certain time every bloody week. And counting points as well??? Aaaargh. Now, if there is a really inspirational leader who delivers an incredibly motivating piece post weigh-in, then I may join. (I am not a joiner...this goes against my prnciples. Social occasions with friends? Plans to do things together? Night school classes which interest me? No problems. Right now, weight-loss interests me so it will be in my interests to look in. It had better be a riveting meeting though ;-) I think my boredom threshold is quite low.) The leader will have to be good...captivating and motivational. If the place is chock-full of women (or men come to that) wanting to talk about the calories/points in a half teaspoon of dried oregano or an inch-long piece of banana I'm off. You won't see my heels for the dust.

Who knows. I might even find it worth-while ;-)

I'll tell you how I get on tomorrow. I really won't be a disruptive influence...I promise...but it's true, the older you get the less likely you are to stand for time-wasting activities / nonsense. Many people swear by the Weight-Watchers plan. I am not sure I have the patience required for it, but we'll see. I truly hope tomorrows' meeting converts me. This lard layer and me are parting company - that's all I know.

I shall enter that meeting in the church hall with an open mind - honestly.

Joshua Liebman said :


"Tolerance is the positive and cordial effort to understand another's beliefs, practices, and habits without necessarily sharing or accepting them."
 
:)