Having a 'Bleugh' Day.

I am sure we all get them. I woke up this morning feeling tired and weary and thinking this could be a TV day. I could lounge around in my dressing gown all day, watch old films and eat and eat. That still sounds blissful to me, although I rarely do it. Wet, winter days when I have achieved lots and deserve a break are for indulgent days like that. They don't happen often because I always seem to have a list of 'to do' jobs as long as my arm. Sadly, I haven't achieved a lot, and eating and eating wouldn't do me any favours at all.

I suppose I am glad I have the strength to appreciate a day like that just isn't on.

I just don't want to do anything though. I don't care enough about the jobs I should be doing, and like I said in my reply to the wonderful bloggers who urge me on, I want to give up on myself. Again, I think this is only a temporary feeling. It will pass, and I know too that doing something - anything - is the best way to lift a mood. I think feeling as I do today is perfectly natural...it happens...and so far (fingers and everything else crossed) I haven't taken my feelings out on food. One tiny pro-biotic yogurt drink and two slices of low fat mackerel pate on unbuttered seeded toast so far. And tea of course. No movement as yet though..or significant, calorie-burning movement. It's been one of those get-up-from-the-sofa-or-the-computer-to-go-to-the-kitchen days. Not good, but it isn't even noon yet, so I can redeem myself.

I tired myself out yesterday. My car is likely to be in the garage for some time, given my son and other mechanics are working on it in their own time - lunch breaks and after work, bless them. I am only paying for parts, and I am enormously thankful given I am as skint as skint can be. The cam belt is broken and mending it involved something to do with the head gasket and the valves. It's a big strip-down-the engine-job apparently involving lots of new parts, and I'd be looking at a bill for £1200+ if my son didn't work in a garage and his co-workers weren't so kind.

Anyway - it means lots of getting about on Shank's pony for me..on foot. Yesterday I tried to make myself look business-like (hard to do convincingly when your fat middle means the only smart jacket that fits won't do up - sigh.) I volunteer and have been elected to sit on committees...It was something I could do when I wasn't very well, or at least recovering from major surgery. I wasn't employable, but I could talk. :) I was glad someone could use my opinions...so every now and then I have to go and sit in on meetings, which I enjoy. It keeps the brain ticking over.

I had a meeting yesterday so walked to the bus stop...quite a way, and then waited and waited for it to arrive. It dropped me off in town and then I had a bit of a walk to the office where the meeting was held. It was only a short meeting so afterwards I deliberately had a long walk around the town, window shopping, planning a long route to get to given places and using the stairs instead of escalators. On my way back to the bus station and feeling rather weary, I realised we needed a few groceries, so I nipped into a supermarket and for the first time in ages, had to carry three bags of food shopping home - on the bus. Blimey. We don't miss the water till the well runs dry, as my old Mum used to say. It's true! I got off the bus at my end and then had a walk, lugging the shopping home.

Now...really, that's no big deal, but it did make me think about the work my mother used to do in the course of a day and how much easier housework and grocery-shopping is for me. My car takes me everywhere. My mother went out shopping for food - to the local shops a good twenty minutes walk away - nearly every day...and thought nothing of carrying it back. (She was still walking everywhere without a stick in her 80s.) We didn't have a car, so she had to. In fact - we didn't have a fridge in the '50s...so Mum had to keep dairy produce cold on a stone ledge in a larder. Milk was stored in buckets of cold water when I was a little girl. We eventually got a fridge in 1963..Laundry was a physical job..washing by hand in the sink, rinsing, wringing, putting big stuff through a mangle..and then hanging it out to dry, bringing in in and ironing it all. We had to insist she had an automatic machine later in life, and she thought it was miraculous that it could wash, rinse and spin all at once! She marvelled at this time and energy saving machine, she really did. Getting a tumble drier for her would have been too much. She got a lot of satisfaction from hanging out washing and seeing it fluttering in the breeze she said :)

We have become an altogether more sedentary nation haven't we? Even our kids like to sit in front of screens. I blame the PlayStation and the X Box for a lot of our problems today. Hark at me, I sound like my Mum when she said in the 1960s, 'Watching television is very bad for you. You should make your own fun. It puts a stop to conversation and destroys family life!" :) She didn't watch much television, ever, preferring to listen to the radio. Sadly though, we probably do lounge around too much, don't we?

I know now that I have to make a CONSCIOUS effort to move...and to do more than moving, to work up a sweat, it has to be a deliberate action. Hmmm..talking of which, reminds me that I have to go and be active. Much as I like writing, I think too much computer use is also bad for us..physically and mentally. Writing as an activity doesn't exactly burn calories and whilst sitting in front of a screen we aren't enjoying fresh air or connecting face to face with anyone. Those cyber worlds aren't good for us, much as we couldn't be without them now.

OK..up and at 'em.. I am not sure if writing has made me feel better or not. I shall go and drink a big glass of water and plan what to do with the rest of the day. Perhaps I'll sit on the bike and pedal a bit while I think. Hope your day is going well, wherever you are.