Saturday, 10 July 2010

Yesterday and Thank You.

I lost heart yesterday. The road seemed too long and the progress seemed too slow. I'd convinced myself I was 'playing' at weight-loss and that unless I could change my outlook and my habits I was doomed to remain a fat woman.

Yesterday I was questioning my reasons for blogging too. I read other blogs and people seem so fired up, so determined, so steadfast...and so active. Like I said yesterday, so many bloggers are different from me in their approach and the results they are getting. I was going to throw in the towel because words like 'gym' 'work out', 'reps' 'planks', 10K, 'kilos', 'weights', 'running shoes' and 'spinning' are things that happen in a world a million miles away from my own - by choice. I was doing (and still am) what doctors and health professionals everywhere are telling us to do...examine your diet, eat fewer processed foods, eat nutritious foods with fibre, vitamins and minerals in them - like fruits and vegetables and be aware of how many calories per day a body needs to lose weight. I have attempted to eat my  five a day. I am drinking lots of water and I am moving much more. I am not running, I am not doing classes..but I am walking , lots and I am conscious of all the deliberate bending, stretching and vigorous house and garden work I have been deliberately doing. I cycle in front of the TV or to music. I have got up from the sofa, put down my books and I am moving. I time myself at the computer now. Not too much sitting..

However, I reached the conclusion that what I am doing just wasn't enough. I was a bit of a weight-loss failure...a woman who could easily, in one derailed weekend, gain back all she had lost by eating and drinking without caution.

Yesterday I REALLY needed the perspective of others. I just want to thank those who understood and took the time to comment. Knowing people can either relate, care or offer advice is sometimes a bit of a life-line, isn't it? Sounds stupid. I should be able to shake off those feelings of inadequacy myself and go on in determined mode. But yesterday wasn't one of those days. Yesterday I didn't like myself much. (Isn't it weird how that happens?)

Today I am back doing what I need to do. I was given some great advice..lots to think about. I've lost 14lbs since erm...March. Four and a bit months. I read about people who lose ENORMOUS amounts of weight in a year...and all I can lose is one stone. Still, losing is better than gaining but I did question my ability to lose. I can maintain quite easily but shifting up several gears to LOSE weight is going to require determination. I probably don't have to change much...we all have to do it our own way after all..but I must appreciate that all people undertaking this journey have days when they feel less inspired, less determined. Not giving up is what it's all about.

That's it really..Yesterday I was about to give up, to give in, but I didn't, thanks to the caring people out there in Blogosphere.

PS: Breaking news:)
Yesterday evening my man and I went for a was a very warm evening. We walked a mile or so to the pub, through woodland and a by a small lake..we went down to the waters edge to see the ducklings and the swans and then ambled on to the pub. (It's always good to have a watering hole at the end of a walk we find..) He had his pint of Guinness and I had my soda water - with a dash of lime and a lot of ice. It was so stickily hot and humid yesterday so we sat outside in the pub garden. We hadn't eaten, so we took a different route home, on the main road which would take us to the 'Chippy'...The Chip Shop. It was the only place within walking distance still serving food at 10pm. One of my favourite foods used to be fish and chips...a large cod wrapped in batter and deep fried until crisp, and a bag of chips...(or fries, as they're known elsewhere.) Chip shop chips though are big, thick sticks of potato...deep fried until soft and golden in colour. Sprinkled with salt and vinegar this meal used to be food of the Gods. It was even better when I was younger and the food was wrapped in sheets of newspaper.  Damn health and safety regulations! :)

Anyway, we bought fish and chips to take home. I suggested to man that we share a bag of we did...and guess what? This indulgence wasn't so much of an indulgence as a trial! I just couldn't finish them, and not only that, the greasiness of them was quite horrible. I felt full quickly and left half of my half portion of chips...and most of the crispy batter from the fish. I actually felt queasy because it's been a long, long time since I'd eaten fried food. What a revelation. Fried food doesn't suit wasn't there wasn't too much damage done yesterday, given I'd eaten very little during the day, (nectarines, apples, cold chicken, muesli was just too hot to cook!) and all of it, apart from the fish and chips, low calorie and healthy.

A bump in the road. I can do this....and so can you if you're reading and doubting yourself as I was yesterday. I'll keep going and I'll get there eventually. You too? More progress methinks?

"I was taught that the way of progress is neither swift nor easy.’ ~ Marie Curie


  1. Dear Grumpy,

    You are doing fantastically well. A pound a week is just wonderful. If I were doing so well I would be over the moon.

    At this point in my life, I am having trouble maintaining the few pounds that I have lost over the last year and a half. In fact, I've gained most of it back.

    I am limited to strolling (no brisk walking possible) due to arthritis. As you may or may not know, I finally got myself to the pool a couple of days ago, and we'll see how that goes but it's such a big production that I don't have high hopes of making swimming an integral part of my life.

    Believe me, my dear, there's always someone worse off than you. I know that's the case for me too. At least I can walk. I know people who can't even do that.

    So all I can say is congratulations to you! There's no reason to compare yourself unfavourably to anyone.

    Keep up the excellent work!!!

  2. Thanks for your really helpful comment New Me. You are right...being fat isn't healthy, but it's a 'disability' that we can fix. There are so many people who can't be fixed, who are MUCH worse off than I am...and yes, a reminder is needed every so often.

    I am grateful for all I have going on in my life. The struggle to lose weight can be difficult for all sorts of psychological and emotional reasons, but with determination and some insight regarding why we over-eat / stagnate we can do our best to change things. Let me say that I am in awe of your determination..and I am sorry your arthritis holds you back. I wish you all the best on your journey too. We are all taking baby steps along this path aren't we, but at least we are taking them. x x

  3. One of the great benefits of the Internet is being able to connect with people all over the world with whom we have something in common.

    I am honoured to be able to give you some support and I am blown away by the support you and others give me.

    Baby steps...onward and upward!