I imagine everybody, thin, fat or at a perfect weight has 'bleugh' days when they don't feel very inspired to do much. Today everything is taking such an effort. I feel like I am wading through treacle. All I want to do is sit and wallow. Yes, sounds like depression but it's not - it's sort of a fed-upness with it all, a conscious reality-check of how I am spending my days and I KNOW only I can do something about it.
I feel I have to grab life by the shirt collar and really LIVE it - you know? I am wasting so much precious time almost preparing for how life will be when I am a thinner version of me - which is completely stupid! Today...right now in fact - is all we have for sure. There can't be a golden time when it all comes together and I am transformed. Life doesn't work like that.
I have been inspired by reading blogs about former big people who now look svelte and fit. Life has opened up for them, and every single person who has succeeded in losing weight is urging on others to make the same transformation - because they KNOW life is so much better for them as a slim person. Not only that, it's obvious from reading that they feel mentally stronger and up for challenges. (I feel mentally flabby most days) I read and am impressed, but I feel I am at the bottom of the mountain and they are up there at the top..yelling at me to come and join them. All I can think about is how difficult it is going to be for me to climb up there...Having said that, every person who has succeeded has mentioned that they've done it one day at a time, one good choice at a time...and we can all do that too. Except on days where we feel bad about ourselves. I am having one of those days...and nothing much matters. A grey fog has descended. I feel a bit of a loser.
I'll try and keep this short. (Hear the trumpet fanfare!) If my diet is good I'll feel better. If I try with real conviction to stick to a plan I'll feel better. If I move more and achieve, I'll feel better. If I go out into the fresh air I'll feel better. If I drink a glass of water instead of 'having a little treat' I'll feel better. If I have faith in myself that I can REALLY lose weight and work towards it I'll feel better.
Today I am trying very hard to find that faith in myself. I am wallowing today. I am not living. I am wasting pressure minutes, hours, moments doing nothing...merely existing.
Fat or not fat...this is my life to live...so I am going to have a glass of water, then I'll brush my hair, put on my shoes and go for a walk. I am trying to grab back this (so far) wasted day, a day in which I have felt miserable, fat and fairly hopeless. I'll think about how I can end today on a high note.
I think we all have to aim to shake ourselcves up a bit when we feel we are coasting/wallowing. I am a thinker, not a doer...and oh how I can bring myself down by thinking too much! I get a feeling that fat people can bring themselves down quicker than slim people who are active and doing. It's perhaps not the 'fat' and 'slim' bits that matter as much as the 'active and doing.' THOSE are the key words.
Join me? Lets just DO something...and move ourselves out of the big, fat gloomy place we sometimes find ourselves in.
Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use.