Tuesday, 12 October 2010

Blimey...About Those Who Stand In Judgement Out There.

In this corner of Blogland we are all writing about our wants, needs to have smaller, healthier, fitter bodies - right? We write about the methods we employ to achieve that aim too, yes?

We have that in common.

Some people have done incredibly well, some people have a plan and it's working, some feel the need for gastric band surgery, some need the framework of a tight diet, other eat intuitively and feel they've cracked it, some people have vague plans and have a bit of a whine (me) but they're heading in the right direction, others are doing well, they struggle occasionally but they SO want to lose weight, so they pick themselves up and carry on, some people join groups for support, some count calories, some count points, others need supplements and special foods, some write about how down they feel because they have lost the plot....some buzz along on a high because they have an exercise routine and have released those feel-good endorphins.

There is room for everyone.

I have been reading around a few blogs this morning and there definitely is some finger-pointing going on regarding the mentality of those who embark on weight-loss journeys....which as we know aren't really journeys at all. We learn as we go that we have to make some lifestyle changes which have to be sustainable life LONG.

What is beginning to piss me off incredibly is the small group of people who've planted their flag on the high moral ground and never tire of telling 'slimmers', in a somewhat superior way, that they really are quite pathetic.

I'll be the first to rail about 'diets' screwing me up, doing my head in. I'll also hold my hands up to having a child within who wants me to eat doughnuts...and often that child has me vent about the unfairness of being fat and what a drag it is that I really HAVE to sort myself out in terms of eating and exercise. I hate having to summon up the discipline required to exercise. That's me...but I DO want to lose weight and I do want to feel fitter. I am exploring all the avenues. I am tweaking the way I live....being conscious of what I am doing (or not doing as is sometimes the case when I have my lazy hat on) and I write about it.

I am open to constructive criticism. I am open to ideas, open to thoughts, I love debates, and it's wonderful when other bloggers throw out some words of comfort or encouragement because they 'know where I am coming from.'

Like most of us I write a sort of 'this is my day and this is what I was feeling, thinking, doing' diary or journal. If I were still fifteen this blog would be snazzy, full of doodles and day dreams, have a little lock and key on it and be hidden away at the back of my knickers drawer :)

It isn't. It's out there for the world to read, and all I know is, I have to say it like it is, for me.

I may be mentally wired differently to others but I try to be honest and open, because really, what's the point of writing otherwise? I am so anti-diet industry, but here I am, a fat woman who has to embrace some parts of the dogma, the theory, because let's face it - some of it is plain common sense, whether or not those companies, groups, firms are making money out of our misery. We buy into the whole 'losing weight' game because we want  better bodies. I want a healthier, fitter body and all my waistbands to feel comfortable. For that to happen I have to alter the way I live.

When all is said and done, this blog is here for me, to help me, and if it entertains, amuses, informs, or motivates (ha ha ha) others, then great. It's good when people can identify with your feelings and thoughts. We share our successes, we share our pain, we share our thoughts...we delve into the way we work, the ways in which we respond to situations, and it makes for interesting reading  usually. Some blogs are more readable than others, some campaigns are more disciplined than others, some writers are more philosophical than others...some writers have the knack of making the process funny, and we pick and choose our reading. if we can't identify with a writer we move on to something else...we don't pick holes in their techniques, methods, dreams.

I don't really want my writing analysed, nor do I want to be told that I am this, that or the other. I am me...a middle aged woman who has lived a bit and tends to laugh her way through life. I am cocking up my weight-loss plan left, right and centre, but I do care about me deep down, that's why I have joined this weight-loss community. I am learning SO much from reading other blogs. I am gaining comfort, motivation, encouragement, determination...all sorts of positive feelings from YOU...and I thank you for that. I am also (slowly) losing weight, but every day is a bit of a struggle. I wish it weren't but my natural instincts are to slob out and eat foods I like. I write about it...I piss myself off. It's all good though :)

I don't however want to be shot down in flames for my approach, my thinking. Do any of us?

Don't you just thank God..or whatever...that we are all so different? We can see things from different angles, we approach things differently, we behave differently and we learn as we grow that one size does NOT fit all.

There is room for all approaches..even my "I hate gyms and fucking exercise machines!" one. Some people LOVE them and need them...and that's OK. What works for you is OK. It might not work for us long term...but we'll learn from the experience and not become filled with self-hatred because we got it wrong. We might despair of our rolls of fat, but we are still in the game, knowing we can live with them or lose them. Dilemma huh, when one is naturally inclined to watch television whilst eating ;-)

We learn about ourselves as we go - that's what I am finding. We fight internal battles in ways which suit us...we fight weight loss battles differently too, and we are not wrong or misguided or demented because we choose our way and also have the capability to beat ourselves up and love ourselves at the same time.

I am a wonderful person and I have lots of friends. Positive enough?

I am pretty crap at this self-discipline lark though :)

If I am into self-flagellation, as I often am, let me be. Partly it's for artistic license anyway. I do a good line in self-deprecating misery...and sadly some take me far too seriously.

I wish I could take the lofty view that I understand all my eating demons, my slothful demons, my negative demons and I was strong enough to exclude them. Sadly, I can't banish them...not completely, but I can keep them down by writing about struggles and successes, laughing along the way (sometimes at my own hopelessness!) and hoping they balance each other out, even if I am 'doing it all wrong', 'thinking about it in a negative manner', screwing myself up and setting myself up for failure as some people out there would have me believe. I am finding my way. Nothing is set in stone.

There is room for all of us....getting it wrong or getting it right, feeling good or feeling bad. I for one like to read about your days and the way you approach the " I am obese and I don't want to be' problem.

Hope you are having a good 'un....but it's not imperative :)


  1. I'm all for whatever works for any individual but if there is a one size fits all underlying this journey it's eat less move more. I think it all boils down to that in the end. How much less to eat, how much more to move are the variables that people seem to argue over. Of course they can fasten on whatever part of a post pleases, or displeases, them too so I try not to fret over some of the advice I get. If it's really over the top I just delete it. I get a chuckle out of reading your blog, how many weight loss jottings will I read today that include knickers and flagellation, not many I'm betting. :^)

  2. That was supposed to be "Heh". Not hen. Good grief, I can type I swear it!

  3. I think Hen is darling! A right Freudian slip.

    I love what you say FG. I think some people take themselves WAY too seriously and would benefit from some good old fashioned belly laughs. So what if my belly jiggles when I laugh? I'm working on it...in the time frame and fashion that is best for me. I too am self-deprecating, but not in a vicious, mean way. I am the first one to laugh at myself. And I am always ready to laugh with and at others.

    An ocean or two may divide us, but we are still on the same page.


  4. Amanda - hen!
    That's priceless cute.
    The perfect ending to a perfect day!

  5. Well said!

    I think many of us probably analyse ourselves and our every thought and motivation more than is healthy sometimes - we don't need anyone else to do so as well.

    By the way, there was me thinking Amanda must be from the North-east of England. I had a friend from Durham who used the pet term 'hen'. Even better than 'hen' though, was a lovely lady in a shop in Peterborough who called me a 'curly lamb'. Now, that is seriously cute :-)

  6. Oh I LOVE 'curly lamb' Deniz! :) (Wonder if I ought to try it out on one of my grown-up boys tonight? Heh heh!)I thought Amanda might be from north of the border, Bonny Scotland, where a friend uses the expression 'wee hen'.

    Yes, becoming healthy is a serious enough business without others scrutinising the way we tick. I think we discover how we best operate and how our minds are affected by weight loss (or gain) as we proceed. It becomes all too clear sometimes that we must make adjustments and maybe go about things differently. That discovery, about what works long term and what doesn't, is a helpful learning curve for most of us.

  7. I have a feeling my blog pisses a lot of people off, because when I started it, I was really burned out from a "weight loss community" I was a part of that totally went sour. Since then I have tried to tone down my own hatred towards the diet industry. I do not want others to feel bad after reading my blog. It is simply MY journey full of MY wake up calls. In the end, I really beleive it doesn't matter what we DO - it matters most what we BEcome. The inner drives the outer. So tell someone else what to "DO" is pointless. Let's help each other BE the best people we can BE. ;)