Thursday, 28 October 2010

Putting it off, and putting it off...

Morning all. It's been so good to read that some of my favourite bloggers are doing well. They are losing weight, getting out there and enjoying life and their new found confidence rings out. What fantastic success stories. I want a bit of that for me. I can have a bit of that too. Nothing is preventing me losing weight.

So, can anyone tell me why I put off having my own success story?

Oh I know my life is about much more than losing weight, but a while ago I determined that this is what I would do, I'd lose weight, because being a fat woman was spoiling my life in many ways. I was becoming miserable, losing my enthusiasm for joining in, taking part. I'd wallow. I still do on some days. It's easy for me now to let life pass me by. I am finding it hard to make my days worthwhile. I could slob out all day. However, when I read a few blogs here I tell myself I have to make a decision. Do I really want to slob out and miss out on truly living, or do I want to be part of the game, to make today count for something?

I'd guess that with extra pounds and new rolls of fat their comes a certain sort of misery...not because we are so shallow that we believe the world is full of slim, air-brushed model types, but because our tighter clothes, our reflection in the mirror and the sight of recent photos makes us feel down. Everything we do as a fat person takes a bit more effort. Moving as others do becomes harder. We get out of breath quicker.

Let's not pretend there aren't negatives that come with the fat suit, because there are, no matter how much the fat acceptance people tell us we are being brain-washed.

This is the life we have, and if it becomes harder in many ways, then it isn't as good as it could possibly be, is it? We can laugh, we can have a jolly exterior and some people can be genuinely fat and happy. I think I am in a way. I am content and I am lucky to have a good life style but I know it's not a particularly healthy one.

On days when I have nothing much planned, (now I don't work, and my children have grown) I have the option to sit and do nothing much. Hmm. Nice. I deserve a life with fewer pressures.

However, I can go online, write, drink tea, graze all day long...and at the end of the day feel angry with myself that it's a day wasted, a day without goals, a day I have drifted through and probably gained a pound. Muscles haven't been used, brain has been engaged but the body, full of tea and grabbed snacks - all reasonably decent - is feeling sluggish. Sluggish body affects mind - and hey voila! - all of a sudden I turn from being a bright, middle aged woman who is content with her lot into a lazy, self-indulgent fat cow who deserves to grow fat and rot because she wastes life and opportunities to live.

*Laughing and shaking my head here.* Isn't it incredible how we can so easily bring ourselves down?

My dear old Mum always used to say keeping herself busy helped her to forget her cares and woes. It works. Too much time spent thinking, analysing, pondering can bring us down and have us focusing on all that isn't good with our lives.

I have a million and one jobs to do around the house, so today I have determined to tick at least one or two of those chores off my list. Win-win situation, as I'll  exercise my body too. I'll also force myself out into the fresh air. Fresh air always lifts a mood I find.

I felt good yesterday. I walked for miles around Batsford Arboretum with my man and we saw the thousands of trees in all their colourful Autumn glory.

Being out in the world and being part of it helps me. It lifts me physically and mentally.

'DOING' does that for us. It lifts us, so don't we owe it to ourselves to join in, to make our bodies move?

Sometimes, when we feel miserable about being fat all we want to do is wallow, but in wallowing we put off the day when our body becomes lighter and healthier.

Today I am working towards a slimmer and healthier life by making sure I engage with life itself. I could waste my day or do something with it, and I choose to be part of it all, fat or not.

What are you doing today? Whatever you do, move if you can. Change the scenery if you can. This is a reminder to myself too.

Have a good 'un :)


  1. Just back from and walk and your right it does make me feel good!

  2. I wanna come walk with you guys..Love the pictures. Our trees are turning here in the states too but I have to go a ways to see a "castle" like you have. At first I thought that was a picture of your house that you had a million and one jobs to do in...LOL!
    You are making the right choices and Listening to your Mum is always a good idea..