It's hard to keep fighting for a new body, a new way of eating, a new way of using your time actively, isn't it? It's SO easy to slip back into old ways. Do you find that, or has your healthy eating and exercise campaign become a breeze?
Sigh. It hasn't been a good week, mainly because people have been visiting, we've had a busy weekend and eating on the go or eating out has been part of it. I just ate what I fancied, and although there were no binges, I ate lots of calorific things. I didn't make any attempt to work off the calories either. Basically, I didn't care, I enjoyed myself and any guilt I had when ordering a pudding quickly vanished.
Oh woe is me? No. Not at all. This was my doing. I hold my hands up. I just didn't try.
Since I last weighed myself I have gained 4+ lbs. Four plus? Lets just call it five. Back into the 200lbs+ zone.
So, 'dieting' wisdom tells me I shouldn't give up, that I have to get back on track. All is not lost. I can undo the damage. I can carry on. I tell myself a transformation has to happen now, and it will only happen if I keep working on myself. I entitled this piece "Well, there is always next year..." because I really feel I keep putting off (in my head) the time when I will be a slimmer, fitter version of me.
There is no finishing line, this isn't a race, but I am like the runner who keeps falling over. I get back up and fall over again. By the time I have crossed the finishing line all the other competitors have gone home and the stadium has been locked up. (If this were a real scenario I'd not be concerned about getting out or climbing over the gates - I'd be scouring the food outlets for left-over burgers and popcorn I expect.)
I know, I know. Nelson Mandela famously quoted Marianne Williamson, saying “The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."
Maybe some people find achieving personal goals easy? I know I don't. Oh, I could study and pass exams, that was no trouble, and any personal obstacles in the road of life I have worked around with determination and moved on, but I don't seem to be 100% motivated to lose weight. I have good reasons for wanting to be slimmer. It's just a 'want' however, not a burning ambition, or a firm goal. Although I have lost some weight, every pound I lose involves a struggle....and what I see as 'sacrifices.' I register the struggle, rather than the victory.
I keep forgetting I HAVE a goal. I give in too easily, without much thought.
Oh well, never mind there's always next year...
It doesn't have to be like that, does it? Not if I am determined to do what it takes. Not if I'm determined to achieve my goals. I appreciate that there is one clear truth with personal goals - no one can reach them for me. There has to be action on my part.
I have to remember why I am doing this. I have to constantly remind myself that I need to exercise the muscle of self-discipline more than any other.
The other day I read something which amused me, and which is also very apt, given I am losing weight so slowly. “By perseverance the snail reached the ark.”
Here's a drawing of a happy snail :)
(OK, OK. I liked it.)
We all have to persevere, don't we?
Are you still working at it? I hope so. I'll leave you with something written by Jim Rohn.