Y'know, on Monday, when I attended my sister's wedding, I ate so sensibly. It was a lovely, happy day and the reception was at a very pretty country house hotel. People spilled out into the lovely gardens before the food..sitting in the sunshine, chatting, drinking pre-food Pimms, sherry or fresh orange juice. The sun shone and the whole affair went off perfectly. I cried as my handsome and gentle son, the oldest, walked my sister into the crowded room to the traditional wedding march, and down the 'aisle'. He was given the name of my dear departed Dad when he was born....so in a way, he was there with us all. So was Mum I'm sure.. I felt very emotional. I never thought I'd see the day my sister actually married..given she has been with her man for 30 years! My daughter and youngest son signed the register...she looked so pretty..son looked handsome, even with his baby-face. We are a small family - just me, my two sisters and my three children, as Mum and Dad passed away some time ago. My middle aged sister and her middle aged groom were radiant. They looked so happy. Her beautiful flowing white summery dress, jacket and hat were just right. It was good to meet up with old friends and meet new people.
I nominated myself as driver for the day. I ferried about my man, my other sister and the boys - so the only thing I drank was a small glass of champagne as a toast to the newly weds. No calorific wine for me. I avoided the bread baskets and butter...even though the freshly baked rolls smelt SO good. The meal was good..melon and berries to start, followed by roast chicken with all the trimmings and lots of vegetables (I declined the sausage and asked for just one roast potato) and apple pie and cream was served for pudding. I am not fond of fruit pies, so asked for a small slice, ate most of the lovely chunky apples, shunned the pastry and avoided most of the cream. We were given a slice of rich, fruity iced wedding cake too...which again, does nothing for me. I gave my slice to one of the younger girls who declared it was delicious. I drank lots of water....and my man and I made a point of strolling round the grounds....(more like small fields) of the hotel. I was aware of my size when we were asked to pose for photos...I was in so many of the formal group ones....so I breathed in as best I could and just smiled. What the heck..I felt like smiling, despite my podgy body. So all in all, a good food day...perhaps lacking in exercise. It was a smashing day out....and my sister gave me one of the gorgeous floral arrangements from the tables to take home. I ended the day feeling happy and satisfied....with life in general and with myself.
Why then if I can restrain myself on a day when I could have pigged out, have I eaten mainly junky stuff the rest of the week? I have been in charge of the food...and the boys haven't been around much, so I have catered only for me. I just can't be bothered to prepare myself good meals, instead preferring to pick at stuff that was instantly available. See yesterday's bread and cheese debacle. Sigh.
Today I was up at 6.30am and out early, as usual, dropping my son off at work. It has been a lovely sunny day. I drove home, enjoying the country roads, singing along with music on the radio, brushed my teeth (again), stocked up on tissues and then headed off for an early appointment with the dentist. I had a long wait, so I read. (I really don't like going to the dentist. I hate my gum being injected and the whirring of drills etc...) I had my check-up, a scale and polish and then was injected, (shudder) as one of my back fillings had cracked and had to be replaced. The dentist had to insert some sort of clamp to my gum/jaw...which I was aware of but couldn't really feel. With a numb mouth I made my way home...calling first at a supermarket I don't often use, so I could get another tube of toothpaste...for sensitive teeth. I knew we were running low at home.
Feeling a bit like a hamster with puffed cheeks and lips, I walked around the supermarket. So why did I scour all the freezers and buy a three pack of my favourite white chocolate/ice cream lollies on special offer if all I really came in for was a tube of toothpaste? Well, my reasoning was I wouldn't be able to eat anything hard today...(It didn't cross my mind to buy a carton of soup...) I did buy a bunch of bananas as well. So, I came home and read the paper whilst eating my 'lunch'..two of the lollies. 261 calories each....so 522 calories worth of cold, creamy junk.
The anaesthetic was wearing off by mid afternoon and one side of my mouth was so painful - really hurting..no idea why, but I blame that vicious clamp the dentist had wedged in my mouth..or perhaps the routine descaling made my teeth feel a little on edge..I am not sure. I felt very out of sorts...so took a couple of painkillers and before I knew it, I'd drifted off to sleep on the sofa. I awoke with a start, hours later, still in pain...a strange stinging, tingly sore mouth pain/ache. It won't go away. So the best part of the day was over. I took some washing out of the machine and pegged it to the line. I get the sunshine in the back garden for most of the day...It was a 'good day for drying' as my Mum used to say. I sat in the garden talking to the cat for a while, enjoying the peace and then went and made myself a big mug of tea...which I tried to drink on just one side of my mouth. I should have used a straw ;-) And that has been the sum total of activities and eating for my day so far. No wonder I feel a bit droopy and washed out. I need my fibre, vitamins and minerals...
I may have a session on the bike later..and I definitely WILL have some lentil and vegetable soup and wholemeal bread for dinner tonight. I am not seeing my man tonight, and the boys are going out. (Friday night - the weekend starts and they see friends....until the early hours!) The evening is mine. I am going to take some more pain-killers soon. Even though the numbness has worn off, my mouth feels like it's been attacked by an army of sharp forks. Tonight I shall watch a film...and perhaps have a bath before bed..I don't feel like eating at all...which has to be good. I wouldn't advocate a trip to the dentist every day in order to feel like this. However, if I do get the urge to eat later - or hunger pangs - I am determined that I'll only eat good stuff...I may just have soup, but I have some cooked chicken breasts in the fridge, lots of salad items, a melon, fat-free yogurts, a bowl of sugar-free jelly and a pineapple waiting to be prepared. I also have my bananas, so all in all, I can reclaim the day, get some vitamins into this body and get back on track.
I am reminded of the quote "Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." The day has been wasted, my mouth has been hurting and my eating patterns have been all over the place. It happens. However, I am in charge of my life...my body. I need to inject a bit of 'good' stuff into the day before it is over. I feel I need to grab hold of it and make some sort of effort....to recover from this morning's setback...to claw back the day. I am going out to do a bit of gardening now...only because the poor plants in the borders need a drink. They've wilted in the heat of the day - a bit like me. I shall get the hose out and try and move my body a bit....and should I feel like eating I'll ensure this body of mine is given good fuel. I have suffered the usual post-dental treatment pain, but that's no reason to punish my body, to weaken it with junk food and empty calories.
I need my body to function properly. It's up to me to treat myself well. We all have the power to do that, no matter what the day throws at us. I have to remember this - every single day.
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